Dear Steve and Shirley,
I'm a fifty-two-year-old married woman, and my husband is fifty-six. We've been married for fifteen years, and he has taken me through a lot of ups and downs. When we met, he told me that he had just had a baby with a woman he had only slept with once.
Later, I found out that he was not supporting the child, and when things got ugly, the woman called me and said my husband used to pay her for sex. I was devastated because he never told me any of that, and he calls himself a deacon at the church. Eventually, he had to back-pay child support to this woman.
Then, six years into our marriage, she called me again and claimed she had been sleeping with my husband. He called her a liar, and I stood by him. Over the years, we spent a lot of time with his son, and the woman hadn’t caused any trouble.
About a month ago, my husband had to have his appendix removed and was put under anesthesia. When he woke up after surgery, he called out for her—his son's mother. I was furious, but I kept my composure at the hospital. Later, I confronted him about it, and he blamed the medicine, saying he must have been subconsciously upset with her.
I reached out to the woman to ask if she and my husband had been in contact for any reason other than their son. She admitted that he had been calling her again, and my heart sank.
To make matters worse, I could have sworn he called her name while we were making love. When I confronted him, he denied it over and over. I don’t know what kind of hold this woman has over him, but my intuition is telling me that he is still sleeping with her.
Do I investigate further, or should I let it go and trust my man?